he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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