But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
