i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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