soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
