u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
