if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
