Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
