She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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