please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
