You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
