hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have feelings that need drinking.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize