perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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