You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
