I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
