so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
