I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
