ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
