none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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