awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
