Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize