I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you win again, gameday.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
