my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
