I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
