So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
