i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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