Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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