I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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