My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
