Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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