Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
