Buhtt sex?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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