It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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