I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.