hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...