He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
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Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.