sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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