Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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