ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
