i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Randomize
