At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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