i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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