i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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