no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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