dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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