I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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