low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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