She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
