I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
