these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
