Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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