he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
