she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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