Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
