Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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