i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
