ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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