where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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