your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i think i just lost a toe
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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