dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize