Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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